Today is my Mom’s 73rd birthday! Mom has always been lively, a caretaker, supportive, hardworking, a sounding board, an advice giver, a friend, and my biggest fan. I would classify her as an “energizer bunny” of sorts. She could work circles around people half her age. The one thing that I have never considered? She’s aging!
Recently, she has had a few health problems. The “c” word which seems to touch all of us in some way, errr! Yet, it was skin cancer, treatable, thankfully. But now I have thought more about her age, more about her mortality! She has too, I guess, because she has made plans now for those moments that may come when she can’t care for herself. She has transferred the house into my brother’s and my name. My name is on her bank accounts and we have been informed of where “important” papers can be found if we need them. She has a paid burial plot.
These are all important, good things to have in order. I know that she feels better planning ahead, yet I have a feeling of dread facing these things. I have been fortunate to have a Mom who has been there for me and supported me. Being a mom my self I now know that I haven’t been as appreciative as I could be for all that she has done for me.
I know part of the concern is that I have to face the fact…. I am going through the aging process too! Now I say things like, “well when Mom was my age she had already been married for 25 years and was divorced by now”. “Mom was a grandma when she was my age”.
She raised my brother and myself basically alone on a waitress’ wage. I knew when things were tough, but I don’t know if I really knew. What was it like to live with an alcoholic for all those years and eventually face her own addiction problems? How did she manage and still be there for us?
I hope that in some way I can be a testament to Mom and her sacrifices. I will strive to carry out her wishes, whatever they are, in hopes of paying back some of what she has done for me. Hopefully, I can love my children as unconditionally as she has loved me, even when it was difficult! I will work towards having that boundless energy, compassionate heart, and her capacity to gain strength through adversity.
She may be preparing for the next step in life but I won’t let her go anytime too soon. I still look forward to many days ahead! There are life lessons I have yet to learn from her and I plan on being a good student, a better student then I have been, up to this point. Cheers, to making the most of every moment!
You Know What It’s Like – Jane