I know this is a harsh title but it is how my day began today.
“What? No not this, not this family!” Dumbfounded, that really is all you can feel when you read that a man who you know, in fact you know the whole family has committed the unthinkable!
I first meant this family about four and a half years ago. The sudden parents of eight kids ranging from six months to about 15 years. A young couple who discovered that they couldn’t have children of their own had decided to adopt a whole family, an almost unheard of feat. The adoption was unusual because of the number of children, because it crossed state lines, and because all of the children have some “damage” from their past, both physical and mental difficulties.
It was through an educational situation that I was introduced to this family. They wanted there youngest to have a good preschool experience. That coupled with the fact that my agency has a lot of connections to help families with a plethora of needs is how we ended up having a close relationship with them. We supported them through their year-long adoption process, various health problems, and assessments, lost jobs and financial difficulties. We celebrated their final paper signing, four years of birthdays, educational and emotional milestones with them.
This man this “father” not just accused of sexual assault, but also admitting to it. The details are not known yet. Was it one of his own, a neighbor, someone from their church? I don’t know. The paper stated that “after the act he apologized to the girl and then they prayed about it so it wouldn’t happen again.” But obviously it did “happen again”. How could it happen once, let alone again?
I understand that you can’t possibly pick out the depraved, simply by their looks, and yet,” not this, and not this family”. That is all that I kept thinking this has sickened me so. These children who needed stability, love and a second chance left with what, an even worse view of the world, even more mistrust of the people who should love them, protect them? Why, why, why?
How can someone take the innocence of a child in this way? Could there be any greater sin? Could there be any sicker individual? Why couldn’t we have seen something? Done something? My eyes have wept many tears of sorrow in the past few days and my heart is heavy with sadness…
You Know What It’s Like – Jane